I am stubborn when I’m lonely:
skin hot below the neck.
I am quiet when I’m happy:
explosions light my eyes.
I am pushy when I love you:
climb on my back to reach the skies.
I am guilty when I miss you:
starstruck dreams of eternity.
I am stronger when I’m with you.
loyal blue and moody green;
let us be.
So? Just Disregard?
My feelings My love
My brokenness My shame
My self blame
My guilt My whisper
So? Just Disregard?
My interests My tastes My will My strength My pain
And all the things you said before don’t mean anything anymore.
I just wanted to make things even.
I’ve been absent for a while now
just trying to get my head straight.
Most days I tolerate.
Others, I dream away.
If I cause the pain
does it still count as trauma?
On the days when I feel numb,
I lay in bed and listen to the clock tick.
I count the letters in words on my fingers.
I sing sad songs in my head.
I’ve been absent for a while now.
But like the spring, my surface is thawing.
Tender earth sprouting forth new buds
that emerge from their seeds
to breathe again.
How did I get so lucky?
What magnificent star
were you born of?
Your hand grazes mine, palm facing upwards: a question.
I lace our fingers together: my answer. You teach me words in foreign tongues. I whisper jokes and you laugh along. This will always be my favorite song.
I yearned for a level of intimacy from you
that I wasn’t yet privy to receive.
Time was no friend;
And as the years rolled by,
you only locked yourself in.
I hope you’ve been reflecting;
and growing and expanding.
I see you’re still writing.
I hear your phantom typing.
I always loved your passion, but
it often took my place.
Lonely me held down by you.
Lonely me always judged by you.
Your lips are soft as a feather.
They flutter over my skin.
I don’t know how you do it-
make me fall in.
My arms wrap around your shoulders;
Draw you down to me.
I hope you’re drawn to me.
You rest your head on my shoulder.
For once, I am strong.
I can bear us both.
your words reverberate off me
and drift back to you soaked in
What ever got into your soul?
Mine reflects with blinding light.
I told you it felt like something was broken inside my brain;
you only did things to make it further rain.
–asking for help